Hello, it's the weekend. This is The Weekender ☕
White smoke billowed from the Capitol, intermingling with the singeing stench of cigar smoke that has clouded the House's third floor ever since Republicans retook the majority.
Republicans back slapped and posed for ill-angled selfies. The halls were devoid of pizza mountains for the first time in weeks. Habemus speaker.
The gavel has passed to Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA), an utterly predictable succession as Johnson is a heavy hitter in the Republican party and a household name from sea to shining sea. Ahem.
While Democrats immediately pointed to the congressman's history of election denialism and anti-abortion absolutism, Republicans countered that he's nice.
That affability will have to be robust enough to see him through the same set of obstacles that felled Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) three weeks ago: A reactionary right wing whose entire ideology is breaking the government, mandatory government funding deadlines and a single-member motion to vacate threshold coupled with the continued existence of Matt Gaetz (R-FL).
It's the newest iteration of the same dysfunction that pushed John Boehner and Paul Ryan out of politics, that ripped the gavel from McCarthy's hands and that ritually humiliated nearly all of his immediate successor candidates (with the exception of Jim Jordan, whose assholery seemed to awaken the resistance of the heretofore doormats that pass as Republican moderates).
When I asked around about whatever happened to that "hey, maybe let's change the motion to vacate rule so the Gaetzes and Maces can't just do this again next time their insatiable thirst for attention builds" idea, a series of House Republicans told me that a) Johnson would be gifted a honeymoon and b) those that had deposed McCarthy were "chastened" after the last few weeks. I pondered that as I ducked around the dozens of reporters flanking a mirrored sunglasses-clad Gaetz, preening on the House steps with his wife on his arm.
We have a new speaker; nothing that has made the job so repulsive that Patrick McHenry (R-NC) was all but swatting away those trying to draft him with his oversized gavel has changed.
But what's that sound you hear? It's the clattering of the keyboards of hundreds of Democratic opposition researchers, digging into Johnson's every public utterance, most of which have gone entirely unnoticed until a couple days ago. In those measly hours, they've surfaced his anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage and straight-up homophobic worldviews, his election denialism and voter suppression and his hatred of whales.
Welcome to the big leagues, Mike. Winning the gavel was hard enough — keeping it will be harder.
More on other news below. Let's dig in.
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